The Domestic Goddess

Domestic Goddess...putting these two words together is a bit of an oxymoron for me and I would have to imagine, its not a title that many women aspire of becoming. Well, okay maybe the Goddess part perhaps but certainly not the Domestic! There are certain words that however you use them, they just don't give you an all over fuzzy feeling, even if the word description is pretty amazing - like 'housewife' or for that matter 'vagina'.  Seriously, I mean who came up with that and penis, and breast? Couldn't we have had something that encapsulated the miracle, that describes this truly amazing body parts?  I'm certain that if a man had to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of his extra-superior body 'part',  that it would have a name something more superior than vagina! A name so superior that when everyone heard the word they would be overcome with awe and inspiration. Much different than when you say 'vagina' it is usually in a whispered tone, head hung, like you are telling a secret, afraid someone else may hear. Or better yet, my favorite: vajayjay!  How is that breast are now plastered all over as ta-ta's?!? So what does 'ta-ta for now" stand for since it is now known at "save the ta-ta's?!?  Let's face it, we are so dissatisfied with many words that from an early age we are given suitable alternatives and now speak more in slang and in the language of chat.

I find it truly amazing how things in life go and come full circle when trends change and blend to create, carve and sometimes dictate our lives. In the fifties, women were supposed to be these perfect little housewives. Carved out by society as having their housework complete by the time the children where leaving for school, dressed to the hilt with our high heels and apron to protect the fine, silk dress while preparing dinner and having it set on the table by 6:00PM. That was followed by Women's Lib-Movement (go figure) and the whole 'burn the bra' movement in the early 70's.  Hot on the heels of the bra-less, free love era, came the Woman Executive era. where women embarked on high-level careers making them the breadwinner while a large population of men became emasculated! However, times are changing and women are deciding to abandon their careers and stay home to become the modern day Domestic Goddess!

For whatever reason, women have found that their career was not as rewarding as being stay at home mothers but to transition to the stay at home environment, they feel the need to learn the ancient 'forgotten' art of being a Domestic Goddess. I mean who needs acute stress in their lives of going to the office when you can lead a relatively stress-free existence at home?! With their immediate thought of their only worry being what else you can do to make my family happy? First of all, I'm know the acute stress of the workplace is on the other side of the spectrum.  The two environments are completey opposite and stress layers differently and is unbalanced in the home.  For me, the transition to staying at home and working has created an unbalanced life that is very challenging. Although I had a choice, many are forced to make this choice as the current state of the economy leadin to a poor job market has resulted in many women being forced to stay at home. The transition from the Executive to the Stay-at-Home mother is difficult and some try their hands at making an additional income with a home-party businesses or getting an online job to provide a means of gratification; for me the desire and demand of needing to exceed that benchmark of success or when the chaos at home creates the need for purpose and stimulation of ones mind!!  For some, our mothers were early baby boomers, some career-oriented and but most would have considered themselves domestic goddesses. For me, my mother was carving out her place as the Domestic Goddess of the late 50's and continues to this day.

For the past 23-months, my husband and I opened our home up to my parents. I've sat in awe but more so in dismay as I watch my mother tend to my father's every need. Whether it is preparing his meals, cleaning his plate up, preparing his coffee and watching her iron his hankerchiefs, I'm mesmerized and to some degree envious that I can't spoil my husband with crisp, nicely creased hankerchiefs.  But who am I kidding?  We can't learn from them as they spent their whole lives trying not to be domestic goddesses like their mothers before them. History shows that as our world changes, so do our needs and conveniences. First of all, my husband doens't carry a hankerchief nor would he allow me to serve his every need. He knows I need to stimulated my mind with daily challenges outside of preparing his meals, folding his t-shirts a certain way; although I tend to have OCD! He wants me to evolve, live outside the world of Domestication and enjoy life. And with no June Cleaver or true domesticated role models, women today wanting to be that Domestic Goddesses have to start from scratch carving out their ideal identity of who they want to be.

To know truly what some define as a Domestic Goddess is somewhat humerous but this pretty encapsulates what some of us strive to be. Me? Well I am probably about 3/4 of a Domestic Goddess minus the 'ace in the kitchen, brilliant baker and ingenius cook' as I fear the apron with the embroided stitching "I love to Cook!" I do feel I keep my home in order, clean but lived in, uncluttered and yes, tastefully but modestly decorated. I strive to look 'beautiful and sexy' in my active wear and hair mostly in a ponytail but when I need to be that exceptional entertainer, I pull the era of the fifites and play dress up with my heels, jeans and silky 'blouse.' I try to work in the garden spreading the mulch after my husband has tended to the landscape, I do preventative maintenance on my home, strive to be the best mother I can considering the chaos we are living under at the moment and more importantly, yes I'm a nymphomaniac vamp of such in the bedroom who understands my husbands every need; behind close doors and in life! I keep up with current events thus making me knowledgable and able to "chat it up" about many subject including acting of interest of his favorite TV programs I sit and 'listen' to. Interesting I find the similarities of a Domestic Goddess meeting the same criteria of a Stepford Wife! But in return, I am admired, adored and loved by my wonderful husband and knows he his completely satisfied creating a contentment of our marriage and while the chaos is overwhelming at times, its worth it to me in the end.

I am a Domestic Goddess in my own way. My world revolves simply around my world. I choose to create my world with my family, friends and vicoriously through the world of this Secret Society which gives me an outlet to share my thoughts, be a part of your world and be the Goddess I want to be.

The Importance of having Girlfriends

Welcome to The Secret Society of Pandora's Box. The original goal of this group was to encourage an outlet amongst friends who have history, closeness and share the commonality of needing to express themselves freely and openly without criticism or looked at by others in what some would consider strange. We hope that those who are part of this Secret Group on Facebook will embrace, expand and encourage participation to help ourselves evolve while forming stronger relationships with each other.

And off we launch...

Commentary:

Before I begin, I'd like to share an interesting blurb about how a simple Facebook group, led me to working through the late hours of the night creating this forum. As I sat tiredly through the night thinking about launching this, there was some reluctance of the mere thought of the subjective views and opinions that some may secretly share. Would they  be good? Would they be bad? What would they say?  But then I thought to myself, what am I doing thinking this way? This completely goes against what we're trying to  promote...a forum to encourage strength, friendship and confidence in who we are, want to be, what we want to say and who we will continue to become.

My topic of choice for this launch was clear...Celebrating Friendships. I'd like to emphasis, that it is clearly without a doubt something I could not have done without knowing and reflecting on the support I have from my friends who I dedicate this first blog to. My friends have been there for me through the most neediest of  times; you're my support, my comedy hour and the shoulder I need in good times and in bad...I dedicate this you.

Celebrating Friendships:

In a recent poll found online, women were asked: “Do you wish you had more close female friends?” An astonishing result of over 84% of women said yes.  It’s a proven fact that a friendship among women is good for one’s health so it’s a topic worth discussing.

The Head of Psychiatry at Stanford University said in a lecture that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman.  But for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. 

And an UCLA study suggests and as we know, friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps we may have in our marriage and help us remember who we really are; for good or bad. But they may do more...they are helping us live better!

Women connect with each other differently than men (surprise, surprise) and provide support systems that help each other deal with stress and life experiences.  This “girlfriend time” helps us create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression.

Spending time with a girlfriend is just as important to our health as working out at a gym. In a Harvard Medical School Nurse’s Health study, it was shown that friendships help to reduce stress, improve immune systems, and increases overall emotional well-being. Additionally, it found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged. These friendships lead to a more joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight.

Every time we get overly busy with work and family, we naturally let go of friendships with our girlfriends. We push them right to the back burner and this is a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressurized space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women like this forum was created to do. It's a very healing experience to open up and divulge your inner self amongst friends.

So every time you hang out with your girlfriends, you’re doing something good for your health!  When was the last time you raised a toast to good friends? Cheers to all who are part of The Secret Society of Pandora's Box...where we dare to dish, dare to be brave and dare to celebrate our different way with each other!